#0117. THE WAY FAT COMEDIANS ALWAYS WEAR PATTERNED SUITS.

What do you reckon the chances are that John Candy owned at least one XXXL wool suit in a nice green tartan?

#0116. THE FACT THAT YOU CAN'T BUY "BAHRAIN & BEYOND" IN THE UNITED KINGDOM.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have discovered the finest magazine in the world. And that magazine is Bahrain & Beyond, the only publication in the history of the cosmos with the sheer editorial bollocks to run a generic feature on ice-cream (sample quote: "Due to the weather, ice-cream often melts quicker than it can be licked") ...

... and immediately follow that generic feature on ice-cream with a hard-hitting expose on radioactive former Soviet ghost town Prypiat...

That's right folks, this is a quarterly edited by a man with the brass balls to say, "Fuck it, let's just run a double-page spread on elephants."

And yet somehow this periodical is not available in the United Kingdom.

For which we Britons are all worse off.